I Married A Fat Bitch

Posts Tagged ‘Rewards’

Relationship Killers: 8 Things You Should Never Say

We are all going to fight sometimes in our Relationships, but whether we fight fair is another story. Avoid these phrases and you’ll be one step closer to a happier, healthier relationship.

Are the following phrases part of your vocabulary when dealing with the love of your life? Get rid of these fighting words from your love lingo and you’ll reap the rewards. Don’t do this, and your relationship just might meet the grim reaper!

“Then I guess we shouldn’t be dating!” You wouldn’t tell your boss you’re quitting your job unless you meant it, would you? But sometimes, in a tough relationship, people are tempted to pull out the nuclear option just to get the other person off their backs: “If you don’t like the way I season meat, then you’ll never understand me! We should just break up now!”

Save your breakup talk for when you truly want to end a relationship, not as a rhetorical weapon. Otherwise, you will risk your match taking you up on the offer and leaving you crying over beer for one.

“Why can’t you be just like my ex?” We all have people that have taught us what we do and don’t like in Relationships. But the person you’re being with now wants to feel special, not like the sequel to a bad romantic comedy. Don’t make it sound as though you’re living in the past. Tell your current love specifically how you feel and what you want, but in the context of the present time.

“I’m just too tired from working hard all day to help you with that.” Of course, you’re not lying – you most probably did get exhausted from rushing around and dealing with your boss all day. But now, when most men and women have taxing jobs outside the home, this is the lamest excuse in the book. Remember, the man or woman you love is probably as exhausted as you, and even if they’re not, they shouldn’t have to pick up your dirty socks, move a couch by themselves, or take the kids to soccer practice just because you did a little work. If you’re really tired, ask your spouse to trade or defer chores. Or better yet, just do whatever it is quickly, so you can have time to relax and enjoy each other’s time together.

“Let’s go digging up old graves!” Have you ever complained to your loved one that they forgot to do something, and instead of apologizing they brought up something slightly similar that you once did? Everyone makes mistakes, but small infractions done long ago are not hooks to hang your hat on when you want to avoid blame for something you’re doing in the present. “You forgot to feed the dog three years ago!” is no excuse for forgetting to feed the cat today, and bringing up past transgressions simply leads to an escalation of bad feelings.

“Do as I say, not as I do!” It’s hard to come home and find that the kitchen is a mess, but… when was the last time you took out the trash? If you’re going to criticize your girlfriend or boyfriend for something they’re neglecting to do, it had better be something you do fairly consistently. Otherwise you’ll come off as a nag who wants the rest of the world to get busy while you put your feet up and rest.

“You’re a lousy lover!” You were hoping for some fireworks – but your sweetie is a sparkler at best. Though you may be frustrated, the worst thing you can do in the moment is to ridicule or insult the person you love for their romantic performance. In intimate situations, when a person is sharing a very private and special part of himself or herself with you, they are at their most vulnerable, so angry words take on an especially vicious tone.

If you want to heat things up, positive reinforcement yields better results than angry criticism. “I’d love it if we could stay in this position” works a lot better than “You never stop squirming!” Being a bully in bed might make your beau yearn for a person a little less romantically selfish.

“You knew I was this way when you met me!” On the one hand, it’s not a good idea to get into a relationship with the intention of changing who someone is. But on the other hand, people naturally change as they grow older, often getting better at time management, financial planning, and social interactions. If one of you is growing and changing and the other is staying stagnant, that’s a huge problem. Claiming that you’re allowed to go drinking every night or leave the toilet seat up because that’s what you did when the two of you started dating is effectively saying “I will never grow or change, so don’t invest any more time in me.”

Instead of freezing your personality in time, address the issue at hand. Come to the table with some things you feel you can really change. Then give logical, personal reasons why you prefer to stay the same about some other things.

With all the relationship-killing things you could say, it may be tempting to say nothing at all. But talking and interacting with the other person is your principal job in building a relationship!

If you’re not really listening to your partner, and not expressing yourself – if you’re always saying “fine” or “no problem” – then your issues will never work their way toward resolution, and your partner won’t be able to feel close to you. If you stifle conversation, you’ll suffocate intimacy as well, and soon find your relationship breathing its very last breath.

These are all good things to avoid saying when speaking to a spouse, a boyfriend or girlfriend, or even someone you’re beginning to date. Are there some stock phrases you’ve said, or been told, that eventually led to a breakup? Let us know if there’s a phrase that rubs you the wrong way. And let us know if you’ve found some great alternatives to these phrases, to enhance the conversation and lead to greater closeness with your Relationships!

A lack of adequate weight loss motivation is probably the most common problem people face when trying to lose weight. Most people set out to lose weight without any thought at all as to how they are going to keep themselves on track on their diet and exercise programs.  Without mental preparation, weight loss motivation will often fade very quickly, and result in repeated failed attempts to lose weight for an individual. 

Motivation to stick to your weight loss program can come from a variety of approaches.  For some people, positive reinforcement will work best.  Rewards for reaching small goals can keep you feeling positive and focused on your overall weight loss goal.  It is important to be careful about what you choose as your reward system though.  Many people actually impair their weight loss by rewarding themselves with unhealthy foods that they’ve been avoiding on their diet plans.  High-carbohydrate foods, especially sweets, are particularly bad to use as rewards because they dramatically shift blood sugar.  Rapid changes in blood sugar can spark intense cravings and the associated insulin release can block fat burning for up to two days.  Non-food rewards typically work much better.  Getting a massage, buying yourself a present, getting a spa treatment, or whatever appeals to you can be an excellent reward to keep your motivation for weight loss going without setting you back with your weight loss program.

While the positive reinforcement approach works well for many people, others may do better with negative reinforcement, also known as punishment.  Using a set of punishments for “being bad” on your weight loss program may help keep you more focused on following your diet and exercise regimens.  Here again, it is important to choose your punishments carefully.  In some cases, people “beat themselves up” emotionally, and if they are prone to eating more to quell unpleasant feelings, punishing themselves for diet or exercise transgressions may be the worst thing they can do to help themselves lose weight.

Instead of punishment, motivation to lose weight can often be better enhanced by using accountability – to yourself and/or to others.  The key to accountability is to keep a written record of what you are eating and what your exercise activities are.  Using a diet and exercise log will allow you to monitor what yourself so you can see how well you are following your weight loss program.  Then will keep you accountable to yourself and help you decide if you have done something worthy of reward or punishment. 
 

It often helps considerably to be accountable to someone besides just yourself, such as a family member or friend who is willing to track your weight loss progress with you.  A person who can give you support when you may be feeling weak and can share your happiness when things are going well can be one of the best forms of weight loss motivation there is.  Having someone to help you decide and administer rewards and/or punishments can be helpful too.  For example, if you set a goal and reach it, your weight loss assistant might agree to give you a foot massage.  If a punishment is appropriate for cheating on your diet or skipping your workouts, perhaps it could be that you have to clean your weight loss assistant’s windows.

Finally, there are many methods out there to recondition the mind to strengthen the motivation for weight loss.  Techniques such as those of Anthony Robbins, The Sedona Method, Emotional Freedom Technique, and self-hypnosis can not only strengthen your motivation in general, they can help you resist specific challenges to your ability to stay motivated.  For example, if you have a craving for a particular diet-sabotaging food, there are ways to handle that.  If there’s a particular person who seems to “push your buttons” and trigger behavior that sabotages your weight loss, there are ways to handle that as well.  Different things work to varying degrees for different people, so investigate the options to find techniques that appeal to you and give them a try. 
 

With a little effort, you can develop very strong motivation to lose weight and use it to achieve your weight loss goals.  Now that you recognize the importance of the mental aspect of weight loss you can take the steps to prepare yourself properly to keep your mind working with you rather than against you so you can lose the weight and keep it off for good.

To learn about the most effective techniques for weight loss motivation from the best mental conditioning programs available, and to receive a free weight loss program, visit Dr. Best’s TrainYourBrain4WeightLoss.com website.

Educating yourself about dog training is the first step one takes prior to actually training your dog. Certainly there are plenty of sources you can go to, but sometimes it becomes information overload.

Dog training isn’t really all that difficult. An important thing to remember is that almost all dogs just want to please their masters. The problem can be communication. Of course dogs and humans can’t talk to each other, and owners need to get your pet to figure out what you want.

Dog training can be summed up with just a few tips. Lets take a look at some of the methods that I have used in order to train my dog, making both he and I happier.

Try to avoid the negatives that often come with training. Hitting or striking your dog, either by hand or with an object will only teach the dog to fear you. A stern verbal NO, is OK, but do not go any further physically, or you risk alienating your dog. Focusing on praise and rewards when your dog acts as he should is the better way to go.

Praising your dog will reinforce the correct behavior. Loving or petting your dog for acting positive behaviors is of course nice, but experience has shown better results happen when treats are distributed at the time the behaviors observed. Think about it, food motivates almost every animal, so to it works with our four legged friends.

Body movement can also influence your pet’s behavior. Many canines can actually can actually sense and read your body language before any verbal communication is given. A method that works well in doing this is to match an audible command with a particular movement of either the hand, arm, or even leg.

Refusing to give up is the final key to successful dog training. Sure at times it is frustrating. It would certainly be easier to give up, go sit on the couch and watch your DirecTV, but you need to be consistent in your training. Your dog is not going to train himself, and training always takes longer than you would like. It is so important to keep this in mind when things are tough with your dog. Things will not always fall into place, so do not give up at the first sign of trouble.

Training your dog can be both a difficult and rewarding experience. Keeping these brief tips in mind will help you keep on track in your natural dog training efforts.