I would say that it is important to stress to her that you DO want a baby…in the future…when you are both ready. Sometimes if you focus in on your needs and your issues she can see that she has the same issues. Talk to her about how you are hurting over the loss of your child too (so she knows she is not the only one that feels that way–I am sure she feels really alone). Explain to her that if something happened to another baby or HER during the next pregnancy that would be more than you could bare. Tell her that you are afraid that she won't be around to see your child and you are afraid that she won't be able to take care of it. Right now the focus is on getting her physically well and you both emotionally well. I think if I were your wife, a time frame would help too. When my husband and I started trying we did just that and it was more exciting for me because I knew IT would happen and approximately WHEN it would happen. So if you need 2 or 3 years, tell her that, but be as specific as possible so that she has a 'countdown' or something to look forward to. I also agree that professional help would be great, she (and you) are dealing with 2 major issues that I can't imagine dealing with alone. Sometimes people are more likely to take advise from an outsider. It will work out, just keep on being as caring and loving as you are. Enjoy being young…there is still plenty of time for babies!